Nesting is the overwhelming urge to clean, organize, and create space for the new arrival. Surrogate mothers know firsthand about the vital nesting instinct, because they have already experienced it with their own child or children. The biological urge to nest can creep up on you at any time or, you can feel it all throughout the pregnancy. Even though the baby is not going home with the mother, the surrogate mother still experiences the natural instinct to nest. So, how does a surrogate mother nurture her natural instinct to nest?
6 Tips on How to Nest as a Surrogate Mother
1. Purchase baby gifts for other expecting mothers.
Getting a newborn's room ready is priority number one on an expecting mothers brain. One way to navigate this when the baby is not coming home with you is to purchase gifts for expecting mothers you know. If able, offer your assistance in helping your friend prepare their home for the baby. Another way to navigate this urge is to redecorate a room or every room in your home. Load up your Pinterest boards with crafty ideas and go to town.
2. Donate to Goodwill or mother's you know who are in need of them.
Surrogate mothers will openly testify that they make several trips to Goodwill during their pregnancy. Do you have old baby clothes or gear that has been taking up space in your home? Do you have something that you have been holding on to that can bring another expecting mother joy? If you have the urge to go on a shopping spree, do it! While you are out purchasing maternity clothes pick up baby items that you can donate to expecting mothers in need.
3. Marie Kondo your whole entire house.
Expecting women experience an overwhelming urge to clean and organize their home to prepare for their baby's homecoming. You can scratch this itch as a surrogate by cleaning and organizing your home anyway. You can purge what you no longer need and create space for more joy to enter your life. Plus, you are already on an altruistic kick by becoming a surrogate in the first place. Don't stop helping people now! Continuing to help people throughout this journey will definitely help you fill any natural void you can experience. Sometimes as a surrogate we have to take natural emotions that could turn negative into positive experiences before we even arrive to a frustrating moment. Besides, we all have projects and ideas we store in the brain bank to revamp our living spaces. Surrogate ladies, now is the time to do that!
4. Keep your home tidy and warm. As previously noted, the urge to clean your home is going to happen. There is no avoiding it. It's natural for a mother to want to clean her home for the baby's arrival. It's natural to want to make everything perfect. Don't suppress it. When it creeps up on you break out your cleaning supplies, crank up the jams, and clean. clean, clean. Another thing you can do is create a warm and inviting space for you to relax. There will be times throughout your journey as a surrogate where you can't be bothered to do much of anything. We definitely urge you to rest and relax throughout your journey. Hormone medications can sometimes have energy depleting effects. Having a space where you can nap or binge watch Netflix is vital.
5. Plan your postpartum diet/work out plans.
Okay, hear us out! Planning work outs and diet plans is a great way to prepare for your life after surrogacy. Self-Care is priority number one during this process. Being a surrogate is no easy task, so sometimes we have to get creative when learning how to maneuver difficult experiences as a surrogate. Getting back to normal after a surrogacy journey can take some adjusting. Now is the time to plan out your goals, visions, and channel your personal aspirations.
6. Create vision boards or journals to channel that nesting energy into creativity.
Bujo planning and journaling is all the rage on social media. One can go absolutely bonkers purchasing journals, stickers, and markers galore. Keeping a daily planner is a fantastic way to organize your daily medication intake, upcoming appointments, and fulfill your urge to make lists & plan. Another way you can nurture your nesting instincts is to process your thoughts, feelings, and emotions in journal form. Lots of surrogate mother's take their journey to social media to be a part of a community and talk to others experiencing the same journey. We definitely suggest doing that, as it can be very helpful. However, keeping a personal journal is a great way to keep track of your personal growth and talk about things that may be too difficult to communicate effectively on social media.
Nesting as a surrogate could be a strange experience, yet a personally fulfilling experience. As you embark on this grand journey in helping someone else become a parent, make sure you are taking time for yourself. We urge you not to suppress natural feelings and emotions. Instead, embrace it by creating space for more joy and light to enter your life!