top of page

How to talk with your family about becoming a surrogate?

Becoming a surrogate is a remarkable decision, filled with compassion and the desire to help others create their own families. However, discussing this choice with your family can be an emotional and challenging process. In this blog, we will talk about how to approach this conversation with sensitivity and understanding, supported by examples that can help you navigate through potential concerns and misconceptions.

Approaching the conversation about becoming a surrogate with your husband requires open communication, empathy, and understanding. By expressing your intentions, actively listening to his concerns, addressing them with factual information, and emphasizing teamwork, you can foster mutual understanding and support. Remember that this is a shared journey, and maintaining a strong and healthy relationship is paramount. Together, you can navigate the decision of becoming a surrogate, supporting each other every step of the way.

To gain insights into the experiences of a surrogate mother, we interviewed Kate T, who embarked on a surrogacy journey. Kate T graciously shared her story and how she approached conversations about becoming a surrogate with her husband and children.

Q: How did you initiate the conversation about becoming a surrogate with your husband?

Kate T: I wanted to approach the topic with sensitivity and make sure we had the right environment for a meaningful discussion. One evening, after dinner, I sat down with my husband in a calm and relaxed atmosphere. I started by expressing my desire to talk about something important and emotionally charged. I emphasized how our love and commitment to each other were the foundation of this discussion.

Q: How did your husband respond to your desire to become a surrogate?

Kate T: At first, he was surprised and had some reservations. We both took turns expressing our thoughts and concerns. He was worried about the potential emotional and physical toll on me and how it might affect our relationship. It was important for me to reassure him that I had thoroughly researched the process and that the well-being of our family was my top priority.

Q: How did you address your husband's concerns?

Kate T: I addressed each concern openly and honestly. We discussed the comprehensive medical support available to surrogates, the thorough screening processes, and the legal protections in place. I emphasized that I had considered the risks and felt confident in my decision. It was crucial to convey my understanding of his worries and reassure him that we would navigate any challenges together.

Q: How did you involve your children in the conversation?

Kate T: As parents, we believed it was important to include our children in the discussion, taking into account their age and understanding. We gathered them around the kitchen table and explained in simple terms what surrogacy meant and why it was meaningful to us. We focused on the concept of helping another family have a baby and the joy it could bring to their lives.

Q: How did your children react to the idea of you becoming a surrogate?

Kate T: Their reactions varied based on their ages. Our oldest child, who was a teenager, had a better understanding and asked thoughtful questions. Our younger child initially found it confusing, so we made sure to use age-appropriate language and provide reassurance that our love for them would not change. We emphasized that they would be involved in the process and supported throughout.

Q: Did you encounter any challenges during these conversations?

Kate T: It wasn't always easy. Some family members expressed concern about the potential impact on our own family and how it might disrupt our routines. We listened to their worries and addressed them by explaining the support systems in place, the careful planning we had done, and the importance of maintaining balance. It took time for everyone to fully understand and accept my decision, but open communication was key.

Q: Did you seek any professional guidance during this process?

Kate T: We didn't feel the need to seek professional guidance, as we were able to have open and honest conversations as a family. However, I believe that if any of us had been struggling with acceptance or understanding, seeking the assistance of a counselor or therapist could have been beneficial in facilitating the conversation and addressing any emotional challenges.

Q: How did your family ultimately support your decision?

Kate T: With time and continued dialogue, our family grew to understand and support my decision. My husband was my strongest supporter, and our children became excited about the idea of helping another family. We established a support plan, involving them in the process, and assuring them of our love and commitment.

Q: Any advice for others considering becoming a surrogate?

Kate T: My advice would be to approach these conversations with empathy, patience, and openness.

So, in conclusion of the blog, what I want to say is that talking with your husband and children about your decision to become a surrogate requires patience, understanding, and open communication. By addressing concerns, highlighting the positive impact, and involving everyone in the planning process, you can foster support and understanding within your family. Remember to prioritize the emotional well-being of each family member and seek professional guidance if necessary. Together, you can embark on this meaningful journey while nurturing the love and bonds that make your family strong.


bottom of page