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How To Talk To Your Loved Ones about Surrogacy: Guidance from Patriot Conceptions

Embarking on the path of surrogacy as a surrogate mother is not just an individual's journey, but one that encompasses the entirety of her immediate family and friends. The involvement and understanding of the surrogate's spouse or partner, children, and extended family are pivotal elements in the surrogate’s decision-making. At Patriot Conceptions, we believe that every step should be embraced with love, openness, and clarity.



Discussing Surrogacy with Your Partner


Prior to diving deep into the world of surrogacy, it’s essential to have a heart-to-heart conversation with your significant other. What prompted you to explore surrogacy? Perhaps a story of someone's surrogacy experience inspired you, or maybe you felt an innate desire to help someone experience the joy of parenthood. Communicate the sentiments that stirred this aspiration with your partner. Their understanding and support will be the backbone of your journey.


Engage your partner in the process right from the start. Dedicate time to gather information on surrogacy – from its legalities, compensation, and the role of surrogacy agencies. Formulate a list of queries and apprehensions, and jointly seek their answers. In the application process at Patriot Conceptions, we ensure that the surrogate's primary support, often the spouse or partner, engages in a conversation with a trained counselor. This dialogue offers them the platform to voice concerns, seek clarity, and understand their pivotal role in the surrogacy voyage.


Convey your passion and enthusiasm about surrogacy to your partner. Highlight the profound difference it can make in someone’s life.



Discussing Surrogacy with Your Children


It's crucial to approach this topic with your children in a straightforward, sincere, and age-appropriate manner. For a young child, the essence could be explained simply as, "Mommy is helping someone have a baby." On the other hand, older children may be ready for more detailed explanations.


As you progress in your pregnancy, children, especially younger ones, might require repeated affirmations that the baby you’re carrying will be going to its own loving home. Using phrases like “It’s Mr. and Mrs. Smith’s baby” can offer clarity.


At Patriot Conceptions, we encourage surrogates to incorporate their children into the surrogacy experience. Introduce them to the intended parents, let them participate in video calls, and even share milestones like naming or listening to the baby's heartbeat. This involvement can foster understanding and acceptance.



Involvement of Family in the Surrogacy Process


One of our experienced surrogates, Melissa, offers this insight:


"From the moment we decided to embark on the journey of surrogacy with Patriot Conceptions, we prioritized transparency and inclusivity in our home. We fostered an environment where our children and any visitors felt free to ask questions about the surrogacy process. We believed in providing answers that were truthful yet suitable for different age groups. While every detail might not be comprehended by the youngest members of our family, we recognized the importance of acknowledging the ongoing changes.
To aid in the explanation, we purchased books that highlighted surrogacy stories and introduced our children to the concept in an engaging and understandable manner. Moreover, we kept them in the loop about the surrogacy timeline. Our children were always eager for the weekly pregnancy updates from the app, taking joy in understanding how the baby was growing. The ultrasounds and heartbeat recordings from my visits became anticipated events in our home.
Involvement was key during the pregnancy. We assigned special roles to our children to help them feel connected to the process. Our daughter, Ava, adopted the role of my assistant, helping with tasks like organizing my medicines and offering support during morning sickness bouts. While she was enthusiastic about assisting with the injections, we decided it was a step too far for now! Our son, Lucas, took every opportunity to bond with the baby, from reading stories to feeling the baby's movements. Additionally, we integrated geography and cultural discussions, especially considering the diverse backgrounds of Intended Parents that Patriot Conceptions works with. For older children, this could be a wonderful opportunity to delve deeper into cultural appreciation. Imagine celebrating the rich traditions of the IPs’ homeland!”



Books on Surrogacy


Stories can be an effective way to communicate complex ideas. Here's a compilation of surrogate-themed books for your family:

  • The Heart’s Gift

  • Mama’s Helper: A Surrogacy Story

  • Carrying Tomorrow's Hope

  • The Special Stork Delivery



Addressing Surrogacy-Related Inquiries


Once you decide to share your surrogacy decision beyond your immediate circle, be prepared for a barrage of questions. While many will cheer you on, some might need more information to grasp the concept. Being equipped with knowledge, sharing your personal motivations, and referencing informative articles like this can help demystify surrogacy for others.


Considering embarking on a surrogacy journey? Dive deep into the surrogacy world with Patriot Conceptions. Explore our website to learn about the process and the roles of primary support people.


Ready to begin? We are eager to accompany you on this beautiful journey. Start your application with us today!

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